Books I Hate

I am a book lover. I love books. I love the look of them, the smell of them, the wonderfulness that they hold within. I looooove books. But every once in a great while, I'll read a book and not love it. In fact, I'll hate it. I'll hate it with the power of 1000 suns. Some books just don't click for me, or just irritate me, or (in my opinion) just plain suck. So here are books that I hate. I apologize in advance if you love one of these books. I am not going to be nice to these books.

NUMERO UNO. The book I hate more than any other book on the planet. Wuthering Heights. I hate you Wuthering Heights. I hate you Heathcliff. I hate you Hindley. I hate you Catherine. I hate your stupid incestual children. Sorry for that spoiler there. But I saved you hours of your life. THIS BOOK SUCKS. It is extremely fitting that this book, about a psycho stalker control freak, plays a part in that other popular book about a psycho stalker control freak - Twilight. I've always wanted to go to England, but if I ever find myself on a moor, I'm gonna be mad. Stupid Heathcliff and his stupid moor.

Lord of the Flies - For some reason children going buck wild and killing each other just doesn't get me going. (Except in Hunger Games) There's this whole scene with a pig that makes me want to vomit. Gross.

The Perks of Being a Wallflower - I might be the only person who doesn't like this book. I hated this book, I didn't even finish it. Booooooring.

2012: The War for Souls - I liked Whitley Schrieber's books about his alien abductions. I know it sounds crazy, but they are really good. I don't know what I was expecting when he wrote a fiction book but this was... this was intense. There are aliens who have taken over people's bodies. There's a scene where Ann Coulter sheds her human skin to reveal her reptilian true nature. While that may actually be an accurate description of her innards, this book was... yea....

The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty/ 50 Shades of Grey - Erotica just ain't my bag. I can't do it. I tried. Fairy tales with porn made my stomach hurt, and 50 Shades sounded like it was written by a 10 year old who just discovered what a penis was.

Waiting for Godot - Oh sweet Jesus. This was such a waste of my life. And before you get all bent out of shape, yes, I got it. Existentialism, blah blah blah. NO. It wasn't existential, it wasn't deep, it was boring, and stupid. Just go home. Just GO HOME.

A Discovery of Witches/ The Physick Book of Deliverance Dane - Pretty sure these are the same book. No? Could've fooled me. I like books set in Salem because that is where I was born, but this was just really boring and lame. Both of them. Or one of them if they are the same book.

So those are the books I hate. Just for fun, here's my hubby's list:

The Collected Works of William Shakespeare - Yep, my nerdy English major butt married a man who hates Shakespeare. He thinks he was a hack and that Ben Jonson and Christopher Marlowe actually wrote Shakespeare's works. Whatevs, doesn't just that they are AWESOME.

Gone with the Wind - Did you hear that sound? That was the sound of my heart breaking. The book that I love, that I live for, that I've read at least 100 times, is the book my husband hates.


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