Ode to Cheese
by Lindsey Aylward
O! You have been delicious
From the stinkiest gouda
To the sharpest cheddar
And the crumbliest feta
You were melty on my grilled cheese sandwich
And softened the kick of buffalo chicken
While your scrumptiousness has been heaven to my lips
It is poison to my child
So banned from the household You are
Until a time when the babe can partake
Without trips to the doctor
And the constant company
Of an epi-pen.
O! Cheese. You shall be missed
So why am I writing odes lamenting the loss of cheese? While like I've mentioned before, the baby has a severe milk allergy. So we've decided once and for all to get rid of the cheese in the house and go full-on soy. I'll still have cheese on special occasions when we go out, but I won't have it in the house. No more grilled cheese. No more feta on my hummus and tabouleh. I'm not quitting cold turkey. Oh no. Once all the cheese in the house is gone though, that is it. No more cheese enters the house. The babe can now open the refrigerator and it is just an accident waiting to happen.
So if you know and good dairy-free cheese substitutes, let me know. How did you like my poem? It's pretty sweet eh? I didn't pay $40,000 a year for a BA in English for nothing....