I affectionately refer to my father as the sperm donor. That is all he has ever been to me. At 17 years old, he knocked up my 15 year old mother. My half-sister Melissa is less than two months older than me. Sounds like a good guy already right? I only remember talking to my father a few times in my life and there are only two things I remember him telling me. One, he told me that I was his only child who wasn't a mistake. So apparently he purposely knocked up a 15 year old. A classy fellow. The second thing I remember him telling me is that I was the type of person who would always be the victim. Classy fellow huh?
I am happy to say that I have never allowed myself to be the victim of my own life. I am a happy, healthy mama to a beautiful son, and wife to a wonderful man. My graduated high school, college, and basic training without a father. I go months without even remembering that my father exists. I posted this video on facebook, because if you've ever wondered what it feels like to grow up without a father, this is it. It is from the Fresh Prince of Bel Air. Will's dad walks out on him again, and so he has this conversation with Uncle Phil.
Will: “Nah, you know what Uncle Phil? I’m gonna get through college without him. I’m gonna get a great job without him. I’m gonna marry me a beautiful honey, and I’m having me a whole bunch of kids, I’m gonna be a better father than he ever was, and I sure as hell don’t need him for that, ’cause there ain’t a damn thing he could ever teach me about how to love my kids!”
Will: “How come he don’t want me, man?”
Those of without fathers may move on with our lives. We may become the best parents, everything that our fathers weren't for us. Rationally, we know that we are better off without our fathers. But always, in some deep recess of our hearts is that little kid who wants to know what they did and why their daddy doesn't want them.
Well, now that I've sufficiently depressed you, let me talk about the best daddy I know!
I've realized over the last few weeks just how lucky I am. I have an amazing husband who loves me and treats me wonderfully. My son is the luckiest boy there ever was. He has a daddy who will always be there for him and will show him how to become a great man. Craig is CJ's playmate and role model. I thank God everyday that I found Craig, and that he chose me to be his wife and mama to his baby. Love you so much bubba. :) Happy Father's Day!